Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Elephant In Me

Good sunny Sunday to all of you.  I have fallen off the blogging wagon as of late and am trying to hop back on.  The random thought that got my mental juices flowing today is the term "memory of an elephant".  It is sad but true that sometimes all it takes is a simple phrase to get me revved up and ready for action.  Sometimes it is the simpler the better.  This particular term as unflattering as it is has been used many many times in reference to me. After my initial shock that someone is comparing me to an elephant (because I immediately assume they are talking about my person), I realize what they are actually saying.  We have all been warned about assumptions. Insert church lady hmmmm here.  For those of you who don't know the church lady, Google Dana Carvy then come back and continue reading. 
Anyway back to the elephant.  Hi everyone. My name is Mary-Beth and I have a memory like an elephant.  Here is where you all respond Hi Mary-Beth.  This attribute of mine has both positive and negatives to it.  Pros and cons is another way to phrase it.  One would think having such a great memory is awesome.  Eh, not so much.  Not all the time anyway.  See, having this memory doesn't mean that it comes with a filter.  Now that would be an immense gift.  One that I would love to have and would probably make so many other people jealous.  Can you just hear the taunts?  I know something you don't know. Now visualize a hand wagging over your nose and we are immediately transported back to elementary school.
Having a great memory can be a good thing.  I remember dates and occasions.  I remember who ate what and if they liked it.  Yup, I am the girl that if you ask did I like that, I can say yes or no.  Helpful to have around one would think.  I remember useless things too, like my high school boyfriend's phone number.  Because that will sure come in handy.  Or song lyrics.  Unless I am going to be on a game show why do I need to fill up space in my brain with this?  I literally can hear a song and if the refrain is catchy enough I will be singing along with it before the song is over.  Even if its the first time I have heard it.  Give me a week and I can know all the lyrics.  That is because the radio stations saturate us with new songs until we are sick of them.  Who needs to pay for downloads?  Guaranteed if you pay for a song you will be sick of it in a few weeks due to the over playing on the radio.  I wonder why my brain gets filled up with all of this nonsense.  I also have been called the Cliff Claven of useless information.  Please tell me you know who Cliff Claven is--if you don't then all I can say is shame on you!
Then there's the storage space in my head of articles of clothing that have been worn on "special occasions". Like the pair of shoes I was wearing when I met David.  I haven't worn them in over 7 years but I keep them because of the sentimental value.  Now I bet you are saying that shoes don't take up a lot of room, and you are right.  But if you add up all the stuff I keep for "sentimental reasons" that equals a shit load of stuff.  I have gotten better about letting some things go.  But its work.  I am not lying.  Not because I intend to wear it again, but because I am transported back to the occasion.  And who doesn't want to relive happy memories?
This memory of mine makes it hard to give gifts.  Why you ask?  The answer is this--I remember what I was given by whom and for what.  I therefore think that everyone is the same.  So I put a ton of thought into gifts.  Guess what I get in return?  A lot of disappointment.  Turns out not everyone is like me.  I mean my own husband gives away things that I have given to him because he doesn't remember where he got it from.  I remember little tid bits of conversations of things people say they like or may want and when it comes time to give them a present, BAM there I am with the perfect gift!  Turns out a lot of people don't do that either.  So, again I get a hefty dose of disappointment.  It's ok, don't feel bad for me.  You learn to live with it.  What I haven't learned to live with is the wish that more people were like me.  In this regard anyway.
I guess the biggest negative to this whole inner elephant is the bad things that you remember.  All the names I have been called, all the mean things people have said, all the times that I have been let down.  This is when the filter would be super useful.  Who wants to remember painful times or sadness?  That answer is no one, but we don't get to choose what to remember.  I suppose we could try to forget, but then you still have to make a conscious thought to think about it.  And that defeats the purpose because we are still thinking about it!  They say we only use a portion of our brains.  When new information comes in some old information leaves.  Well I have plenty that can go.  I may remember what shoes I wore to my confirmation but send me to the grocery store without a list and I am guaranteed to forget half of what I need.  Only to remember it as I am driving home.  Like I am going to go back!  I just got Jeff back in the car!  There is no rhyme or reason to it.  Which is the biggest source of frustration.  I like things to make sense.  I like things to have meaning and a semblance of order.  But that is a topic for whole different blog.   Maybe the elephant in me needs to go back to school.  Yeah, that's it.  Time for a refresher course in memory.  Wouldn't that be nice.  Inservice the parts of us we would like to work better.  A little internal tune up.  I'll work on that.  Because we know I won't forget.

No comments:

Post a Comment