Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Garden of Good and Evil

I am many things but a gardener is not one of them.  It's not that I am anti-flower or vegetation.  More like I am anti upkeep of flowers and vegetation.  I can appreciate a pretty yard as much as the next person, honestly I can.  And if I had magic fairies that would plant, weed and keep up my yard I would have a pretty yard too.  And by fairies I don't mean landscapers.  If I meant landscapers I would have said landscapers.  They cost money whereas fairies would do it for free because they love nature and everything pretty.  Before any of you get worried and think about committing me, I know that these fairies indeed do not exist.  I wish they did, but if I had everything I wished for then I wouldn't need to be talking to you through this blog.  Now now that isn't very nice.  Of course I would still want and definitely talk to you.  I just think the subject matter would be quite different.  As I think all of you could agree with that statement of fact.
So a couple of years ago David decided to clean up the front of the house.  And by decided I mean that he called his buddy who is a landscaper to do it.  See, we had taken out a little stone wall thing that formed a flower bed in the front of the house a year or so before that.  The contents of the flower bed had slowly slid down the driveway because(insert duh here) there was nothing to hold it in.  There were bushes in there that I had ripped out and some tulips and daffodils.  I ripped all those out as well.  Again I say that I have nothing against flowers, I just didn't want to deal with them.  In my mind it was better to have it barren then have random plants sprouting here and there.  As we all know I like and practically crave organization, so this haphazard plant growth made me a little crazy.  Well, ok, a little crazier than my norm.
That first year the front of the house looked nice.  A new wall had been made out of railroad ties around the old flower bed and they had weed blocked and mulched the whole inside.  For the first time since we had lived there the front of the house looked halfway decent.  Let me further explain that we are the last house on a dead end street.  So, I really don't feel the need to "dress up" the house to impress anyone.  The only ones who see it are us and the people who live across the street.  Their yard isn't going to be featured on better homes and gardens anytime soon, so I feel no pressure there.  Not like it would bother me anyway.  I don't have yard envy. 
After that first year with the new front of the house the damn tulips and daffodils came up again.  I thought they would be gone for good after being ripped out, weed blocked and mulched.  Yes, I know enough to get the bulbs out of the ground and not just the plants.  Still there they were.  What are these things made of?  Titanium?  They are hearty little suckers.  So, once again I ripped them out and sprayed weed block.  Guess what I see when I walk out the front of my house?  I will give you three guesses and the first two don't count.(That's another one of my mom-isms.  She would say that all the time when obviously we knew the answer).  Yup, those damn daffodils and tulips are there flaunting themselves like a hooker on the Vegas strip.  It's hard not to like them when you see them.  Well you have to admire their spirit anyway.  They have survived 5 years of me ripping them out.  Just to sprout back up again in the spring. 
I have gotten to the point where I am in a live and let live kind of frame of mind.  They work so hard to grow and be seen.  All they want to do is their biological duty.  Reach through the ground to the sun and spread their blooms upward.  I have to admit they are pretty flowers and they bring a small smile to my face when I see them.  That is until they are all dead and look like trash.  That's when I lose it every year.  I would rather see nothing then the brown stalks of flowers past.  Once that happens it is game on.  Then it will be me against them for our annual rematch.  Maybe this year I will get them.  Maybe this year I will rid my flower bed of those pesty flowers that inhabit it.  Of course I have to wait until next spring to find out.


  1. Gardening takes up a lot of work, You can start small by planting them individually in pots and putting them outside.