I haven't been sleeping so great the past few nights. I fall asleep easily enough but staying asleep seems to be the issue. I find myself waking more than I would like and then becoming annoyed. Oh the list of things that annoy me in the middle of the night is staggering. I will spare you the in depth list and give you some highlights. First off I am annoyed that I am awake when I want to be asleep. That of course gets my mind revving and it then takes some work to calm myself back down to a state where I can go back to sleep. There is the occasions when my husband is facing my side of the bed and I won't say snoring but that is what he is doing. Then comes the debate of do I wake him up to make him roll over, or do I wait and see how long it is before my powers of esp will get him to magically turn the other way. After more than my fair share of nights of failed esp that option isn't really on the table anymore. Neither is moving him. If any of you have seen/met my husband you know that he is about 6'3 and weighs around 260. Moving him when he is awake is a chore never mind when he is in a dead sleep. So, waking him is the only viable option left. Of course when I do that I get the look of death from him. You know the one that coined the phrase if looks could kill? Yeah, that one. But hey in the heat of the battle of trying to get back to sleep, I vote for no holds barred. Another annoyance is waking up and having to pee. I then start to have the thought conversation if did I have to pee and that is why I am awake, or do I have to pee now that I am awake. It's like a the whole chicken and egg thing. Which came first? Which leads to the next thought conversation of do I really have to get up or can I fall back asleep without going to the bathroom. In the end is any of it really important? I just wasted precious sleeping time debating over why I have to pee and should I go, when in reality is is impossible to go back to sleep once you feel the need. So the whole mental gymnastics I just did was pointless. Now comes the annoyance of trying to get comfortable again and go back to sleep. Which is all I wanted in the first place.
The thing for my about broken sleep is the dreams are crazy! When Jeff was a newborn and sleep deprivation was at its height, I would wake in a full panic because I could not remember where I had put him. My last conscious thought was feeding him and then it was all a blank. Thank goodness again for video monitors. I could quickly check and see that he was indeed in his own bed and not trapped somewhere in mine. Anyway, as I was saying the dreams are just nuts. I dreamed the other night that Jeff was sleeping in his room, but I had only taken off his pants. So he was sleeping in his tshirt and socks, I hadn't put him in his pj's. The craziest part was that in my dream I had turned his crib upside down and he was sleeping in it like a cage. Who thinks of these things? This morning I was actually dreaming about me dreaming. I was dreaming of me dreaming. It was like I was living the movie Inception or something. My dreams can get so much crazier than that. Insert twilight zone music here. Doo doo doo doo. I mean you have all read about how my mind works when I am awake. It boggles the brain to think about what it is doing when I am not in control of it! When I was younger and by younger I mean in my 20's a drink or two(of the alcoholic variety) would ensure a good nights sleep. Now, it's more likely than not to cause much broken sleep and crazy as a shithouse rat dreams. How crazy is a shithouse rat? Well, I have to say you must be pretty darned crazy to choose a shithouse to live in. Or maybe it's just my crazy coming out to play again. Til tonight my friends. Here's to a whole night of dreamless sleep :)
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