Howdy Partners! Welcome to the latest installment of my kind of crazy. Todays view is a glimpse into my inner dialogues. But wait, if I am talking to myself wouldn't that be a monologue? I guess that would be the correct term but it feels like a conversation. Let me enlighten you with a witty little ditty of mine.
So, I loaded the dishwasher up to let it run last night while I was in bed. Let me first just tell you that I HATE getting up in the morning and having to empty the dishwasher before I can make breakfast. It is just one of those chores that I don't enjoy. The challenge I face is that once I load it up after dinner and then dessert, even if I start it right then I will go to bed before the cycle is done. So, inevitably I will be emptying it in the morning. Anywho, I digress. Back to the story I started. What was that again? Oh yeah, my intent was to run the dishwasher. So, as is customary with me I forgot to turn it on before I went upstairs. It's not that my short term memory is that bad (ok, maybe it is), but I get wrapped up in the task at hand. Last night (and most nights) it is wrangling my toddler to get him upstairs to get ready for bed. So, Jeff and I troop upstairs for bath, book and bed and I completely forget about the dishwasher. As a matter of fact it completely slips out of my consciousness for the whole bedtime routine. Continues to be absent through tv time. It decides to pop back in after the tv and lights have been turned off and I am trying to go to sleep. All of a sudden there it is. YOU DIDN'T TURN ON THE DISHWASHER!!!! And yes for those of you who are wondering it is that loud in my head. Now starts the dialogue, monologue--whatever you want to call it. Ok, let's cut the fancy words. I am talking to myself. It goes like this. The dishwasher isn't running because you forgot to start it. Ugh, should I get up and go turn it on? It's so warm and cozy in bed. And you just got comfortable. But the dishes won't be clean in the morning and you will have to run it then. Is there enough dishes and silverware for breakfast? Yes, ok problem solved then. Run it in the morning.
Now for a normal or normal-ish person this inner conversation would take probably just as long as it took you to read it. Me? Oh, no no no. That would be too easy. I need to perseverate over this dilemna for a good 10 minutes. Just to reach the same outcome. The dishwasher did not get started until I got up this morning. And guess what? The world didn't end. Nor would it with any of the other issues I torture myself over. That is one thing I really wish I could change and am working on changing about myself. A simple decision can become laborious. A difficult decision can take hours! The back and forth and back and forth is exhausting. So by the time I actually get to whatever it is I was internally debating I am too tired to even want to do it anymore. You would think that by asking someone's advice it would take the pressure off of me and make the decision easier. Once again for a normal person the answer would be yes. For me? Well now I have just added a new voice to the inner commentary. Making the timely outcome of a decision even more of a dream then before.
That's just a little glimpse into the wonderful world of MB's mind. Yup, this is my life. Aren't ya jealous? Give me a couple hours and I can give you an answer.......