Saturday, May 11, 2013

Mommy's Day Wishes

Hello all.  So I decided to come out of retirement for a special issue of my blog.  Before you all get super excited about reading more posts, I must fore warn you that this will probably be a "one hit wonder" for this year.  But, you never know when a pertinent subject matter will strike.  Pertinent to me of course, and hopefully enjoyable for all of you.
           First a disclaimer that no husbands were injured in the making of this post.

It all started a few days ago, about 5 to be precise.  My loving husband turned to me that evening and said, "Oh shit.  Mother's Day is Sunday.  Do you want all the cards and flowers and crap?"  Hmm, crap.  I can't ever remember in the long span of the history of my mother's days--there have been 2 before this year--ever asking for crap.  Believe it or not that statement got me thinking about what I actually want for my day.

Of course I expect to be showered with presents and gratitude for bringing these wonderful children into the world and so selflessly caring for them day in and day out.  Pampered? Check.  Adored?  Check.  Now that I have woken up from that fantasy here is the truth.

I would like a present, cards from him and the kids, and flowers.  Those are kind of a no-brainer.  (This year I picked out my gift and bought it myself.  Then sent said loving husband a text that he was off the hook.  Which I know he appreciated.)

Really though, I would like to sleep past 7.  To not have to wake up and immediately be hostess, waitress and chef for the diner that operates out of my kitchen. To get that would be awesome.  If you could throw in going to the bathroom with the door closed I would be ecstatic.  Every day is a constant game of dodge baby.  And no I can't close the door because who knows what he would get into or what his brother would do to him in the 9.5 seconds it takes to pee.  Instead I try to find some fantastic distraction then bolt for the bathroom.  Inevitably I end up with a 14 month old standing holding onto my legs trying to reach through them into the toilet.  If only I could hold everything in until nap time.  Lastly, I would like to not have to cook or clean up for one day.  Enjoy a nice glass of wine with my prepared for me meal followed up with a nice piece of italian pastry for dessert. Ahh, heaven.

To all the mom's out there that happen to read this, Have a wonderful Mother's Day.  I know I will :) Even if i design the day myself ;)