Monday, June 6, 2011

Hello Stranger

Wow, it has been a while since we were together.  I admit it is all my fault--don't ever tell my husband I am capable of uttering those words.  It would upset the balance of our relationship.  Enough about him, more about me.  I mean back to us.  They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.  Here's hoping there is some merit to that statement.  I truthfully have not had much to say.  Let me qualify that statement.  I have had plenty to say, when don't I, it just hasn't been blog worthy.  My chatter has been more like static in the background or Charlie Brown's teacher.  There but not quite important enough to warrant full listening.  Let me give you an example.
I recently found out that my beloved lady doctor is leaving the practice I go to.  I actually found out from a friend well before I was notified by the office.  I found myself hoping that since I hadn't received the "letter" that maybe oh maybe it wasn't true.  I think we can all see the fallacy in that line of thinking.  The inevitable letter arrived and has now provided me with an absurd quandary.  Since I would like to have another baby following her isn't an option since she will no longer be providing that service.  I will go back to her once my reproductive years are complete but for now I will stay in the practice.  So, I need to switch my doctor over.  Not a big deal right?  But I don't need to have an appointment until January.  So, do I call now and tel them to switch my care and explain that I don't need an appointment.  And risk sounding like an idiot or do I wait until I need an appointment and hope they can still find my chart since it was at a different office.  See what I am saying?  This is the chatter that has been occupying my brain but it really is more like static in the background.  It's what makes me me but not really what I think you are all looking for from this blog.  Or maybe it is and I am just mind f'ing the crap out of it again.  That my friends is a distinct possibility.
My life has been just that people, my life.  Nothing thrilling or new as of late.  I was perseverating the other day, and yes I really was, about why is it when you have let go of something it seems to immediately pop back into your life.  I have a friend that I have sporadically talked to over the past year.  Sporadic is actually a generous term.  I have seen here maybe 3 times and we only live about 25 minutes from each other.  I had come to the conclusion that I just wasn't a priority in her day to day life.  Yeah, it sucked to think I wasn't being thought of or not thought of that way, but that's life.  We have no control over any one else or what they may think or do.  I had gotten comfortable with the idea and then like I said let it go.  Two weeks ago I had gotten an email from her, that is her chosen form of communication, giving me dates that she was free to talk and I should give her a call.  Well, I didn't.  Not intentionally, I am just in a rhythm with my routine with Jeff and it didn't pop into my conscious mind to call.  I get a message from her that said, "I guess we didn't get to talk so maybe next week".  So now I feel the need to explain why I didn't call and proceed to say when I am free to chat.  I don't hear from her.  I text her, email her with no reply.  Finally I call again and get  no answer.  Crazy isn't it that just a few weeks ago I was ok with our friendship fizzling out and now here I am like a puppy chasing its tail.  David calls it "living in your head rent free".  It's so true too.  So, after 2 weeks of this I am concerned that something bad has happened in her life or maybe she is just busy.  I have done what I can and its time to let it go.  I bet I'll be hearing from her any day now.  Haha
So we haven't been together but you honestly haven't missed much.  I am planning a quick trip to Market Basket to grab some dinner ingredients for tonight then a run.  Hopefully these trips will provide some fodder for my next installment.  Til next time.........

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